A few days
ago, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I came across a link to
TotalFratMove. Facebook or someone I knew had put up a link to this article by
their editor. To sum it up, the editor had gotten, shall we say, a negative
response to posting about how post graduate life was awesome, trying to console
someone who was saddened by that chapter of their life ending. He explained
that postgrad life means more money (which no one ever has in college), the
freedom to do what you want (and he meant that in a very literal sense), and
the chance to grow up. As a recent graduate, I understand the depression and
angst associated with graduating. I know the feeling of loss you get when you
finally load all of your stuff in your truck and drive back home or off to your
new life. But, and this is a pretty major but, I completely get what the editor
is saying. When I left my Alma matter (University of Arizona, Bear Down!), I
accepted a job in London working for a Member of Parliament. It was an
extremely unique position, something no one else was doing or even could do.
And it is because of that, because I have done what both the editor and the
person he was responding to talk about, that I disagree with our friend, the
editor. That’s not to say that I think postgraduate life is terrible and
nothing will ever come close to your time at university. There are just some
key difference between the real world and college that will, at some level at
least, make you look at your college life with rose tinted spectacles.
When you
arrive at college, you don’t have a ton of money. You’re in a new city,
surrounded by people you don’t know, taking classes that now have a real
bearing on your life. Everything happens very quickly. Soon, you’re buried
underneath homework and social obligations and trying to get some sleep (harder
than it sounds). But, even with all of this going on, even with all of these
expectations, slowly you carve out a group of friends. And I mean friends.
Before this, friends were people you had home room with or who lived in your
neighborhood. No, I mean friends who chose to be in the classes you’re in, who
have similar interests, maybe even hopes and dreams. As you get older, if you
share majors, you plan your classes together. It gets to a point where, in your
last few semesters, you’re seeing the same people in every class. And you love
it. These are the people who will sit through your Monday morning (8 A.M.
because you hate yourself) econ class and take amazing notes that will help get
you through the midterm having spent the last night with you drinking at each
other’s homes and then at the bars. These are the same people who will sit
(stand, who the hell sits) in the student section at game time being as loud as
or louder than you. And these are the same people who you have to say goodbye
to when you leave. Not because you want to. Because you have to. Your friends
are off to graduate school, to professional jobs, to the other side of the
world in some cases. And you’re happy for them. They’re going to achieve their
hopes and dreams. But, in the back of your head, you feel it. This twinge of
sadness. You realize that there is no more going out on Thursdays to college
bars. There’s no more pregaming at 8 for the football game at noon. No more
skipping class because you’re too hung-over. (I did a lot of drinking in
college)
You are an
adult now.
And that’s a
scary thing to say. Think about it. When you got into college, you were an
“adult”. But not really. You came home in the summer to parent’s who fed you
and put a roof over your head. When you ran out of money because you were at
aforementioned bars too much, someone was there to help you. But, that isn’t
the case anymore. You get your first job and the world expects you to just stop
being a kid.
Well, what if
I’m not ready to do that? What if I like being a kid…? That’s what this is all
about, not so secretly. It’s not that anyone is going to miss Rolling Rock
induced hangovers, cramming for finals. You miss being a kid. You miss the
freedom of knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what stupid stuff you
do, someone (and by someone I mean your parents) has your back. There isn’t any
more freedom than that.
So, yeah,
post graduate life is great. You get to make all the big decisions and hey, who
ever said no to a little extra money in your wallet? It’s cool to have the
freedom that money provides, to say I’m going to Vegas and going to blow it all
at the craps table. But, and just hear me out, go and do it. Blow your entire
paycheck in Vegas. That’s right….none of you would do it. I don’t blame you at
all. Wouldn’t cross my mind either. I like having an apartment and something
tells me not paying rent might change that.
You see, it’s
not about the money or the freedom, that feeling you have. It’s about growing
up. You’re finally, truly, and completely becoming an adult. No more mom and
dad looking after you, no more misbehaving and its ok because you’re a kid. If
you go out, get drunk with friends, come 9 the next day, your butt best be at
work. You can’t ditch work like class, not for long anyways.
So, take
heart friends. Yeah, growing up sucks and no one wants to. But, those same
friends are going through this, just like you. All of you, each and every one,
will make it. And you’ll still have as much fun, if not more, when you see each
other. You’ll still get too drunk and do crazy things. You’ll still be loud
when you visit your university at homecoming. (If you’re around me, there isn’t
anyone louder, now or then) And the new memories you make will be just as good
as the old one. Just with better beer…